I wrote silly bios for the folks at Mobile Deluxe (awesome gaming company!) and their Facebook fan page. I wanted to share them. The process was an absolute pleasure and I think the results are great. What I did was have employees give me 3 or 4 pictures of themselves that were taken during a Mobile Deluxe’s portrait session. I would just go through pics over and over again until something clicked and then away I went! I was able to write whatever I wanted (within a modicum of reason). I even wrote my own bio……. I have a wonderful job.
MEET OUR STAFF! This is Alfred, our Marketing Manager. He’s not swimming in this picture, he’s actually sweating. He has a real bad sweating issue but don’t tell anyone-he’s sensitive. He works at his desk when he’s crunching numbers and when he’s happy with what he sees, he runs around the office, looking like this picture, forcing people to give him “high fives.”
MEET OUR STAFF! This is Edmond. He’s our Production Coordinator. He used to be in charge of Customer Care and did an amazing job. Our fans really do love and appreciate him. Unfortunately, he only has love for only one thing. His football. Now, we are not allowed to call it his “football,” Edmond makes us call it “Tina.” Edmond brings Tina to work every single day. He even made our supplies gal order a chair for “her.” When Edmond gets a hard question from a customer, he consults Tina in whispers and giggles. Edmond says Tina always guides him to the right answer. Edmond laughs out loud at her “jokes” and says she’s super funny and clever (we haven’t heard any jokes). Edmond just got a promotion so we all went out to the neighborhood bar to celebrate. Edmond brought Tina. Evidently her drink of choice is a Cosmopolitan. Tina was wearing a diamond necklace (it was scotch-taped into place) because he said “he couldn’t have received the promotion if it wasn’t for his sweet Tina.”
MEET OUR STAFF! Meet Mo. He’s been with us for quite a while. He is about to turn 26, just got married, and has lots of piercings and ironic t-shirts. He was recently promoted to Deployment Manager. After his promotion “this” happened. I’m referring to the picture. We immediately received a set of hand written/mimeographed rules from him. 1. We must always answer him with “yes, my Hipsterness” or ”but of course, Duke of All Things Hip.” 2. We must take 5 minutes out of day to find “our inner Hipster.” 3. No eye contact until he says “oh I didn’t know you were standing there,” and then you have to tell him, “I like your facial hair today.” And whatever you do, make sure all your music is on vinyl!
MEET OUR STAFF! Audrey is the most enlightened member of our team. She is so gracious and kind. She treats all creatures and staff (even Mo) with the utmost respect and gentleness. She can often be found levitating around the office, knees in lotus position, spreading her light to every department. All she has to do is smile and feelings of blissful serenity descend from the rafters of the office and rest gently on all the minds that make up Mobile Deluxe. This is why we have made her the voice of the company through our Social Media. Fans love her gentleness, her wit, her guidance and, of course, her spiritual advice. When she does not post, fans suffer physical and emotional withdrawal. Mobile Deluxe wanted to make her the face of the company but she had to decline. She explained that she didn’t think the world was ready for her voice AND her face. “There will be a time and a place, my co-workers, for me to share my face with the world. The time is not now, and the place is not here.” “Then when and where?” asked desperate CEO Josh Hartwell. Audrey replied, “Those are not questions that can be answered hastily. You must be patient, now please give me my paycheck. I’m hosting Karaoke tonight at the British Pub and I’m late.” She then levitated out of the office, taking all her grace and tranquility with her to the British Pub where she gave a rocking rendition of Molly Hatchet’s “Flirting with Disaster.”